| THE UNXPECTED |
| EXCERPT 2 |
| CHAPTER X |
| Too Close to the Heart |
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I was on my way to meet Delaney Disaster number two. Jaiden was physically
twenty, but still somewhere about seventeen mentally. It seems like I’m giving
him too much credit. He was the baby of a dysfunctional family so no one
blamed him. The only thing I could think of this morning was how much this
lunch was going to cost me. I might not be paying for lunch, but meeting with
Jaiden always meant there was a price to be paid. Paying for lunch would
definitely be cheaper.
I wasn’t in a bad mood though. I wasn’t in any kind of mood, simply dormant. I
had started the day thinking about the visit with Donovan. I was looking for a
reason why, after so much time had passed, I decided to make the trip. I could
have easily sent him a short reply and moved on with my life. Needless to say,
thinking of a second trip was a total shock. After a serious amount of
analyzing, my conclusion was that another visit would be an attempt to
recapture a good time in my life while everything else was going straight to hell
in a hand basket. Even with the uneasiness of the last visit, our memories were
of a good kind.
There was too much pressure. Everyone depended on me for advice, or a
shoulder to cry on, or a bill to get paid, but I couldn’t fully let go and feel safe
with anyone. Not even my mom wanted anything to do with me unless it would
benefit her. The trip gave me time to think. More like the ride home, since
everyone was awake and talking so I couldn’t get any good sleep. I was
thinking, mostly about getting out. I wanted to get away, far and for good.
I neared the deli thinking about Jaiden. He was in between jobs again so he
had the time to travel to me. As I crossed the street amidst the lunchtime crowd
I saw him out front puffing a cigarette. He was early, a sure sign that he was
beside himself with worry. He looked cute. Some people said he looked like a
dark skinned Usher.
He stood about six feet tall, which was a surprise to the family since he’d been
a short, round, thing as I grew tall and thin. His hair was cut low now, with
waves that must have been groomed for hours. His side burns led to a neat
close-shaven beard. He was dressed casually in a white Polo shirt and light
brown khakis. He didn’t do dirty work, had gotten his fair share of manicures,
and most of the gigs he was comfortable with were part time or temporary.
“Hey sis,” he hugged me and kissed my cheek.
“Hey little brother, I like those shoes.” My smile disguised my thoughts and
eagerness.
He lifted his pant leg and moved his foot a little to give me a good look.
“Coach, they look good on me right.”
“Ooh, big baller.” I smirked to hide my distaste. How ironic that he could afford
to get a pair of shoes from Coach when he was always hollering broke.
He offered me a pull from his cigarette. I shook my head. I didn’t bother
reminding him that I’d quit months ago, except on occasion when I accepted
Lani’s homemade cigarettes. Besides, I had no clue who he’d just been with or
what he’d just finished doing.
“Let’s go eat.”
He tossed his cigarette by the curb and we entered the eatery. They were very
busy, but we were able to order our sandwiches quickly. Since he was paying I
added a slice of raspberry chocolate cake to my order. The tables were
taken. The lunch crowd bustled in and around the small eatery so we decided
to walk to the nearby park. He was quiet along the way and I was anxious to
know what he wanted since he hadn’t offered me the $200 dollars he’d
borrowed two months ago.
“How’s Jevon?”
“He’s good, he’s good. You know he’s getting big. We’re thinking about
having a barbecue for his birthday party.”
I was happy that his eyes still lit up at the mention or thought of his son. I still
considered my nephew to be the blessing that kept my brother out of trouble. I
missed my nephew, hadn’t kept him in a while. We sat on a bench, away from
the trees. I was cautious about keeping my sandwich away from the bugs and
birds.
Jaiden wasted no time tearing into his sandwich. With the outdoor scene and
the stalling, I was losing my appetite more by the minute. I especially didn’t
have time to be stalled, since I’d probably be in the office until seven tonight.
“So, what’s up?” I took a small bite. Please, spare me the bullshit.
He tried to finish chewing the large chunk of turkey and provolone cheese that
was nestled in his jaw.
“Two things. Cailean and I are going out this weekend and I need you to keep
Jevon - ”
“You could have told me that over the phone,” I broke into his admission. “I love
my little stinka. Why are you wasting my time when I need to be planning what
we’re gonna do?” I kept babbling while contemplating having Sharisse bring
DeShawn for a sleepover.
Jaiden interrupted my thoughts with a frown. “I need three hundred dollars sis.”
I looked at him as if he was out of his fucking mind. He looked like it actually
pained him to ask me, but that was what I was foolish enough to believe so
many times before. I’d give him a lecture and not too much time would pass
before he’d come walking back with his tail between his legs asking for
something else. This is what he’d asked me to meet him for. He wanted me to
look into his pitiful eyes and let him play me like the little fiddle he thought I was.
“Jaiden I don’t have a money tree out back and you keep taking, taking, taking,
and don’t give it back,” I started my lecture.
“I know I owe you a lot already, and I wouldn’t even have to come to you if
mommy had it, but I need to do some things. I’ll start making payments as soon
as I get this new gig next week.”
“Are you in some kind of trouble?”
“Nothing like that,” he fidgeted.
I looked away. “Are you on drugs, I mean crack, cocaine, ecstasy, or some shit
like that?”
“Yeah right,” he laughed.
I nodded. “When are you bringing Jevon over?”
“Friday, what time is good for you?”
“Six.”
“I’ll bring him around then. Do you think you’ll have the full three hundred?”
“I’ll see you Friday.” I left him sitting on the bench. I walked up a side street
toward my job, hoping to get away from the crowded streets, just me and my
thoughts. I had bills to pay. I couldn’t guarantee what would be left over. I
leaned against the sturdy stone column in front of the building, sipping a bottle
of sweet apple juice, thinking about our disagreement two months earlier.
* * *
“Hey, come in.”
Jaiden hugged me, came in, and sat on my cloth patterned loveseat. I took a
seat in my rocking chair.
“What you got to eat?” He kicked off his shoes.
“Spaghetti with Italian sausage, and garlic bread.”
I started flicking channels from music television to entertainment television
avoiding his imploring stare.
“What you looking at me for?” I twisted my neck in mock agitation.
“Can you fix me a plate?”
“Boy, if you don’t get in there and fix yourself a plate. You must not be hungry.”
“Please,” he whined. I thought I heard his stomach growl.
I threw the remote at him. He is so fucking spoiled I fumed as I moved around
the kitchen.
“Water, juice or soda?”
“Apple juice?”
“Cranberry juice.”
“Pineapple juice?”
“Cranberry juice.”
“Cola?”
“Orange.”
“Cranberry juice?”
“Jaiden come on now!” I slammed the refrigerator door.
“Okay, cranberry juice,” he laughed.
He is such a pain in the ass. He loves to drive me crazy, just like mommy.
What can I say, he learned from the best. I brought him a hefty plate and a
large plastic jug of juice. We settled into an evening music video countdown as
he dug in.
“So what’s Cailean’s lazy butt doing?”
“She’s home with Jay. She’s not lazy Crystal,” he was defensive with a mouth
full of my food.
“I know chasing after Jaiden and spending all your money can be a hard job,” I
laughed.
Jaiden sat quietly shoveling food into his mouth.
“God, Jaiden I didn’t mean anything by it,” I spoke halfheartedly.
I didn’t know why he always got so defensive about Cailean. I was just joking,
sort of, but it didn’t matter. I could joke about mommy, any of his friends, and
just about anybody passing and he’d be the first one to laugh. It was like his
whole attitude changed around Cailean or whenever her name came up.
twenty, but still somewhere about seventeen mentally. It seems like I’m giving
him too much credit. He was the baby of a dysfunctional family so no one
blamed him. The only thing I could think of this morning was how much this
lunch was going to cost me. I might not be paying for lunch, but meeting with
Jaiden always meant there was a price to be paid. Paying for lunch would
definitely be cheaper.
I wasn’t in a bad mood though. I wasn’t in any kind of mood, simply dormant. I
had started the day thinking about the visit with Donovan. I was looking for a
reason why, after so much time had passed, I decided to make the trip. I could
have easily sent him a short reply and moved on with my life. Needless to say,
thinking of a second trip was a total shock. After a serious amount of
analyzing, my conclusion was that another visit would be an attempt to
recapture a good time in my life while everything else was going straight to hell
in a hand basket. Even with the uneasiness of the last visit, our memories were
of a good kind.
There was too much pressure. Everyone depended on me for advice, or a
shoulder to cry on, or a bill to get paid, but I couldn’t fully let go and feel safe
with anyone. Not even my mom wanted anything to do with me unless it would
benefit her. The trip gave me time to think. More like the ride home, since
everyone was awake and talking so I couldn’t get any good sleep. I was
thinking, mostly about getting out. I wanted to get away, far and for good.
I neared the deli thinking about Jaiden. He was in between jobs again so he
had the time to travel to me. As I crossed the street amidst the lunchtime crowd
I saw him out front puffing a cigarette. He was early, a sure sign that he was
beside himself with worry. He looked cute. Some people said he looked like a
dark skinned Usher.
He stood about six feet tall, which was a surprise to the family since he’d been
a short, round, thing as I grew tall and thin. His hair was cut low now, with
waves that must have been groomed for hours. His side burns led to a neat
close-shaven beard. He was dressed casually in a white Polo shirt and light
brown khakis. He didn’t do dirty work, had gotten his fair share of manicures,
and most of the gigs he was comfortable with were part time or temporary.
“Hey sis,” he hugged me and kissed my cheek.
“Hey little brother, I like those shoes.” My smile disguised my thoughts and
eagerness.
He lifted his pant leg and moved his foot a little to give me a good look.
“Coach, they look good on me right.”
“Ooh, big baller.” I smirked to hide my distaste. How ironic that he could afford
to get a pair of shoes from Coach when he was always hollering broke.
He offered me a pull from his cigarette. I shook my head. I didn’t bother
reminding him that I’d quit months ago, except on occasion when I accepted
Lani’s homemade cigarettes. Besides, I had no clue who he’d just been with or
what he’d just finished doing.
“Let’s go eat.”
He tossed his cigarette by the curb and we entered the eatery. They were very
busy, but we were able to order our sandwiches quickly. Since he was paying I
added a slice of raspberry chocolate cake to my order. The tables were
taken. The lunch crowd bustled in and around the small eatery so we decided
to walk to the nearby park. He was quiet along the way and I was anxious to
know what he wanted since he hadn’t offered me the $200 dollars he’d
borrowed two months ago.
“How’s Jevon?”
“He’s good, he’s good. You know he’s getting big. We’re thinking about
having a barbecue for his birthday party.”
I was happy that his eyes still lit up at the mention or thought of his son. I still
considered my nephew to be the blessing that kept my brother out of trouble. I
missed my nephew, hadn’t kept him in a while. We sat on a bench, away from
the trees. I was cautious about keeping my sandwich away from the bugs and
birds.
Jaiden wasted no time tearing into his sandwich. With the outdoor scene and
the stalling, I was losing my appetite more by the minute. I especially didn’t
have time to be stalled, since I’d probably be in the office until seven tonight.
“So, what’s up?” I took a small bite. Please, spare me the bullshit.
He tried to finish chewing the large chunk of turkey and provolone cheese that
was nestled in his jaw.
“Two things. Cailean and I are going out this weekend and I need you to keep
Jevon - ”
“You could have told me that over the phone,” I broke into his admission. “I love
my little stinka. Why are you wasting my time when I need to be planning what
we’re gonna do?” I kept babbling while contemplating having Sharisse bring
DeShawn for a sleepover.
Jaiden interrupted my thoughts with a frown. “I need three hundred dollars sis.”
I looked at him as if he was out of his fucking mind. He looked like it actually
pained him to ask me, but that was what I was foolish enough to believe so
many times before. I’d give him a lecture and not too much time would pass
before he’d come walking back with his tail between his legs asking for
something else. This is what he’d asked me to meet him for. He wanted me to
look into his pitiful eyes and let him play me like the little fiddle he thought I was.
“Jaiden I don’t have a money tree out back and you keep taking, taking, taking,
and don’t give it back,” I started my lecture.
“I know I owe you a lot already, and I wouldn’t even have to come to you if
mommy had it, but I need to do some things. I’ll start making payments as soon
as I get this new gig next week.”
“Are you in some kind of trouble?”
“Nothing like that,” he fidgeted.
I looked away. “Are you on drugs, I mean crack, cocaine, ecstasy, or some shit
like that?”
“Yeah right,” he laughed.
I nodded. “When are you bringing Jevon over?”
“Friday, what time is good for you?”
“Six.”
“I’ll bring him around then. Do you think you’ll have the full three hundred?”
“I’ll see you Friday.” I left him sitting on the bench. I walked up a side street
toward my job, hoping to get away from the crowded streets, just me and my
thoughts. I had bills to pay. I couldn’t guarantee what would be left over. I
leaned against the sturdy stone column in front of the building, sipping a bottle
of sweet apple juice, thinking about our disagreement two months earlier.
* * *
“Hey, come in.”
Jaiden hugged me, came in, and sat on my cloth patterned loveseat. I took a
seat in my rocking chair.
“What you got to eat?” He kicked off his shoes.
“Spaghetti with Italian sausage, and garlic bread.”
I started flicking channels from music television to entertainment television
avoiding his imploring stare.
“What you looking at me for?” I twisted my neck in mock agitation.
“Can you fix me a plate?”
“Boy, if you don’t get in there and fix yourself a plate. You must not be hungry.”
“Please,” he whined. I thought I heard his stomach growl.
I threw the remote at him. He is so fucking spoiled I fumed as I moved around
the kitchen.
“Water, juice or soda?”
“Apple juice?”
“Cranberry juice.”
“Pineapple juice?”
“Cranberry juice.”
“Cola?”
“Orange.”
“Cranberry juice?”
“Jaiden come on now!” I slammed the refrigerator door.
“Okay, cranberry juice,” he laughed.
He is such a pain in the ass. He loves to drive me crazy, just like mommy.
What can I say, he learned from the best. I brought him a hefty plate and a
large plastic jug of juice. We settled into an evening music video countdown as
he dug in.
“So what’s Cailean’s lazy butt doing?”
“She’s home with Jay. She’s not lazy Crystal,” he was defensive with a mouth
full of my food.
“I know chasing after Jaiden and spending all your money can be a hard job,” I
laughed.
Jaiden sat quietly shoveling food into his mouth.
“God, Jaiden I didn’t mean anything by it,” I spoke halfheartedly.
I didn’t know why he always got so defensive about Cailean. I was just joking,
sort of, but it didn’t matter. I could joke about mommy, any of his friends, and
just about anybody passing and he’d be the first one to laugh. It was like his
whole attitude changed around Cailean or whenever her name came up.
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